Let me start off by saying "Big" was one of my favorite movies to watch as a kid. It solidified my dream of being a toy tester (likely, my next career move), put playing the floor piano on my list of things to do when I visited NYC, and I was pretty certain that I would totally decorate my apartment someday the same way Josh Baskin did (bunk beds and Pepsi machine -- a must).

I was watching it again recently, and WHOA, Big gets kind of dark through the eyes of an adult.


Example #1: Josh's Big Transformation

When Josh wakes up the morning after making his wish, his pajamas are shredded (presumably because of the 8-hour massive growth spurt). Even as a kid though, I remember being skeeved out by this scene. Like, did it hurt? How did you Incredible Hulk your way through your jammies and not have it be painful/wake up while it was happening? I should mention, even as a kid, I have always been a fairly literal person.

Example #2: When Josh stays in the seedy motel after "getting big."

Seedy motels in 1980's Manhattan were for sure a hallmark of pre-Guiliani New York grittiness. But OMG, a place like that (gunshots and screams included) would be terrifying enough for an actual 30 year-old (and it is, in that scene Josh cries himself to sleep). But let's not forget -- the Tom Hanks' version of Josh Baskin is really 12. Twelve! 12 year-olds can't even be trusted to be safe, left in a car alone in a parking lot nowadays. Add to that, he's checking into this flophouse with Billy, his best friend, who's also 12, but in the body of an actual 12 year-old. Nothing creepy about that.


Example #3: Josh's Apartment Decor

Now, as a kid, this is nothing but full of awesomeness. A pinball machine, trampoline, and the aforementioned Pepsi machine and bunk beds. Josh gets a pass on having his apartment full of toys -- clearly he brings his work as a toy tester for MacMillian Toys home with him. But as an adult, Josh's apartment looks like the fantasy digs of someone Chris Hanson would be cornering on "To Catch a Predator," am I right?


Example #4: Susan

Here's where it gets really creepy, even by romantic comedy standards. Susan, another executive at Josh's office, emerges as his love interest. Now, I don't want to fault Susan here; I wouldn't think to ask for ID from someone who looked at least 30 years-old, but...towards the end of the movie when Josh confesses to her that he's really, literally, a child...she doesn't break it off with him. To her credit, she does get a momentary grossed out look on her face, recalling their nights of passion when she's told the truth.

Example #5: The Kidnapping

We learn from Billy that the Baskin family believes Josh to have been kidnapped. We see his face on the side of a milk carton. First off, *very* dark storyline, Penny Marshall. But, once Susan drops kid-Josh off at home, all you hear is a happy greeting from his mom and....what? No cops? No resolution to every parent in the audience's personal nightmare? Way to leave room for Big 2.


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